Choosing your Wedding party members.

Choosing your wedding party members can often be a bit daunting  for some people and follow with a few a hard decisions on just “who” should be present alongside you on your big day. For some, it’s way too easy and they invite everyone they can think of!

Often Brides are quick to share their wonderful news and end up making quick decisions on their bridal party members way to early in the process and end up regretting it later or causing themselves unnecessary stress as the planning moves forward.

Here are some quick key points to remember when deciding your Wedding party members:

WAIT. There is nothing stating that you need to decide on everyone and everything  right away. It is usually best to wait until after you have set a date and booked your main ceremony ideals, once you have a rough idea on your guest count. Choose the people that are the closest to you and who you know are going to be happy to help you along the way when you need it.

It can also look a bit silly if you might plan to have a smaller wedding of only 50 people (for example) but then opt to have a Wedding party of 12+ members! I was once told by a wedding planner that one of the best ‘rules’ to follow regarding this is the wedding ‘pre-set’ rule; For every 50 guests, one Bridal party member. This keeps visual balance to the wedding, photos etc. but also helps minimize excessive or unnecessary costs/spending.

COSTS. There are main factors that need to be considered, cost is typically the first to come to mind. Being a Wedding party member is often a big responsibility, so consider the circumstances of those you ask to join you, be that both personal and also financial.

It can often be a $250-$500 commitment to be in a wedding party which the purchasing/rental of attire, Make-up/Hair services for the ladies, hosting bachelor/bachelorette parties and so on.

With this cost also comes YOUR Expectations of the members you choose. Make sure your party members are ALL aware of your expectations. In fairness to them, these things need to be decided on FIRST, By you, before they say yes to the offer…whether you expect them to buy their own clothing, give a speech,  throw you a party or help with other details of the wedding proceedings.

Remember, Although your wedding day is likely the most important thing happening in your life right now, it may not be the most important thing to them, or the most affordable, at the present time…be courteous of that and keep perspective. They may REALLY WANT To be a member in your party, but just may not be able to afford the means or have the time necessary for the responsibilities.

FAMILY MEMBERS. Often you will find invites can be given out to “select” family members. Be cautious with this area, especially if you are very close with them. As sometimes you may feel the need to include other family members that might not necessarily fit within your wedding plans, solely out of  ‘fairness’ to the others you’ve now invited, or in other cases you might end up causing strain in relationship if one is not included and they become jealous of  another persons inclusion over them. If you find yourself in this situation, It can sometimes be best to give them all ‘other’ responsibilities pertaining to the wedding and its arrangements that way everyone feels included, without any unnecessarily drama that can sometimes occur.

At the end of it all, Your wedding party is there with you on your day to offer support and love to you and your new partner. If you take your time in choosing the right members and communicate with them you are sure to create a stress free journey as you plan your wedding and head towards the big day. Good luck!

Tipping Etiquette

The Wedding expenses aren’t quite over just yet!

This question was sent in by Kristin, with her wedding coming up, she asked the question; which service providers am I supposed to tip?

Tipping is always greatly appreciated by your vendors, but of course not expected. Tipping is usually an additional and courteous gesture given when a client is happy with the services that have been provided to them and thus the gratuity given to the vendor to show their appreciation.

This can be a touchy subject for some, but a very valid question so here is a general guideline pertaining too many of your main vendors. Though of course please note that these are just general listings and do vary between the individuals, services and differs amongst different provinces, cities and towns. Also be sure to READ your contracts, as the gratuities in some cases, may already be included.

Gratuity guidelines:

*** All Tips should be given in cash only, just before your vendor leaves, usually formally placed into an envelope and given directly to the vendor who provided the services. This way you can judge how much to give them, according to the job/service they did for you. (Unless your planner/coordinator is handling this area for you)

*** Vendors are very appreciative and love “thank you cards” as well… This is a great reminder to us that our clients are happy. It is also appreciated that for those with a “testimonial” or a “service review” option, that you leave a bit of feedback regarding their services provided. It doesn’t hurt to ask us and we are always happy to have a client submit us a review of services!

Amounts:

Limousine Drivers 15-20% of the limousine bill, typically given at the end of the evening.

Wedding Officiant: $25 to $100

Ceremony assistants (Altar boys, Organist, etc.): $5 to $25 each. You can ask a clergy member whether tips are covered by the church fee.

The Caterer/Wait staff/Bartender

(If gratuities are not already covered in the contract signed):

An Estimated 15 to 25% of the total Food/Beverage cost.

Independently Bar-tended events (Separate bookings from food): Typically 15%  of the total liquor sales.

*These amounts will later be split among the wait and kitchen staff at the end of the evening!

The Head chef: $1 to $2 per guest.

DJ/ Musicians – $50 to $100. When your guests boast about your reception later, it’s the DJ and/or musicians that had everything to do with all that fun and who keep that reception party going!

Florist -  Many don’t tip the florist, but it is nice to usually tip them an extra $5.00  to $10.00 per delivery location or  in case of larger bookings around $15 to $20.00 per staff member involved, usually in a lump sum total for overall set-up and delivery of the items.

Coordinators/Managers – Typically a $50 tip is adequate.

The Wedding Planner: This is the person who put it all together for you, start to finish. Typically for them a 10-15% tip on their Final bill total.

Hair and makeup artists – 10 to 20% of their service fees is fairly standard.

* If you go to the salon to receive services, as many would do for that of cut/color services, etc. average is around a 10% tip on services.

* If you have hired a MOBILE Service provider in which they come directly to your location at a hotel or your home, typically this is a 15%-20% tip range, as these providers are now paying out for additional travel fees such as gas costs and extended parking fees for the duration needed to provide services.

Photographer and Videographer – Many find this optional as well. Typically a $50-100 ‘Thank you” tip is generous. Many gear this tip depending on the sizing of your packages purchased.

Remember: Your photographers are with you both for the entire day of the wedding and often start in early morning hours when the bride begins the process of hair & makeup all the way through the end of the day when the reception usually wraps up, sometimes not until 11 or 12 at night!  They often spend upwards of 10, 12, sometimes 14 hours with their bridal clients on their wedding day which is longer than any other vendor, except perhaps the Wedding coordinator directly. A lot of effort is put forth into building relationships outside of the wedding day, including  pre-wedding day consultations, engagement sessions and ongoing communication with image selections afterward, the album designs and so forth. While not necessary, a tip or a gift for service well done is ALWAYS welcomed from your hard working photographers!

Remember this is just a general guideline but will hopefully provide you with a starting point regarding your vendors and any tipping options you may wish to account for within your budgeting.

Your Wedding Day Budget

Congratulations on your new engagement, now the fun begins!

I thought we’d begin by touching on this subject, as this is the first of major steps that will determine the general planning of your entire wedding event!

Over many years now of providing bridal services I seem to encounter the same “problems” spoken of by many clients, to which leads me to present the very first question that needs to be asked before anything else…

How do you plan a Budget for your wedding day if you have no idea what your vendors, venue, and so forth are going to cost you???

Here in lye’s the first hurdle that can bring down both wedding plans and add unnecessary stress along the way.

Make sure your budget is realistic!

The reason 50% of couples go over budget in their planning, is because they do not allow for financial changes in their own plans (Job loss, illnesses, etc)and most people do not set realistic budgets pertaining to their vendors and the services they are looking to book. Another thing that often ends up neglected is the ‘final’ total of the wedding day itself, inclusive of your wedding vendor’s gratuities pertaining to services…we’ll touch on this later though.

One of the best things I ever heard came from one of my brides this year, Sara, and thus the entire basis of this post as it is still to date one of the smartest pre-wedding plans I’ve come across!!

Her Mother in law had made plans BEFORE ANY PLANNING was to start, for her son, his future wife (Sara) and her to visit a main Vancouver Bridal Show.

This gave them the ability to not only scope out future ideas for their wedding-to-be but most importantly, MEET their potential vendors face to face!

They grabbed business cards and price quotes from many of the vendors they liked, found out packaging options and more that agreed with both their tastes but also their potential wedding size as well.

This gave them a whole slew of information, pricing and other options that they could sit and go through once home, to help start them off on the right path.

Not only that, but they had another advantage now, saving more money!!

Many vendors at these shows offer “specials” or “discounts”  for those that attend these bridal shows…That you will not find available through their online sites.

Upon returning home, her husband to be and her sat down and separated everything in sections: Cake makers, Vancouver Venues, Photographers, DJ Services, Limo companies and more.

With the information and pricing now available BEFOREHAND, They were able to go through each section and price out an average cost PER Service provider for their wedding. In the long run they were even UNDER BUDGET at the end!!

So let that be proof, that although you may be excited and ready to just jump in there and start planning, that a little extra time, smart planning and organization can save you so much time, money and stress later on when the ball gets rolling.